It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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