My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
