No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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