Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
