Soap is not a condiment
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
