I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
