So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
