How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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