the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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