just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
