Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You can't just leave with hair like that
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
