You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
