i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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