You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
