so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
