lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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