i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
