Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
