Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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