TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
