i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
