Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
