Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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