I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
