Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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