I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
