sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
