if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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