so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
