I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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