i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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