A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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