Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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