just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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