Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
