I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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