I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
