The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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