Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
