I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
