How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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