I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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