even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
is wine microwaveable?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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