Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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