A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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