i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Randomize
