I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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