well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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