Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
