apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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