Christians are straight up FREAKS
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
