I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
