He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just pee around me
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
