May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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