wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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