How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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