Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
