i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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