Already got asked if we're dating
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
