I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
