He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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