What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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