You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
